In my last blog I noted that I have been very disillusioned lately. Since, then I've had a running feeling of losing people who I once thought understood me. Given the number of people and amount of piling up evidence it's logical to think that the problem may actually be with me. But I'm still having a hard time figuring out what should I do to fix it. Should I change who I am? But then who will I be if not myself? Anyway, that's not what this blog is about. This is about how to very easily frustrate people like me who think analytically and logically.
Here are some imaginary scenarios. Let me be the person A talking to person B.
Scenario 1 : No, no. You don't know what I know.
B : You know when India was fighting Pakistan in 1971, China also invaded India to get Kashmir for itself but our lads fought bravely and fended them off.
A : No - China supported Pakistan because it didn't want Bangladesh's independence but it didn't attack India on the border.
B : No, no. You don't know because it was a covert operation. Nobody but our politicians knew. But China invaded Kashmir because it wanted to build a road through it to Pakistan just like it's doing now. A new trade route. When that failed, it changed some policies and started exporting cheap goods everywhere anyway to become a global superpower.
A : Ok... I know it's building a road now but I don't think that's a plan from 1971... Also, if they anyways had a backup plan to sell cheap goods, and I don't know about policies much, why would they spend on military action which would cost more than just changing some policies?
B : No - it was easier for them since they were high up.
A : But I thought India had the higher ground.
B : No, no. You don't know.. you weren't there.
A : But neither were you.
B : Yes, but I know things that you don't.
A : Ok.. so tell me what things.
B : I just did.
A : :S
Scenario 2 : You don't see it clearly as I do
B : So, you didn't invite me to your party yesterday
A : It wasn't a party. It was just a couple of friends of my wife that came over.
B : Ya. And you could've called me.
A : Hmm.. I could and I was thinking of calling you. But I didn't know them and when I met them I didn't think you would gel well with them.
B : Please don't insult my intelligence by giving me excuses. The truth is you don't want to hang out with me. It's not the first time.
A(stunned) : I'm not giving excuses. I'm just telling you what happened and I know it's not the first..
B : You are. It was your choice and you didn't want me there.
A (still stunned) : Yes it was, and that 's what I'm trying to tell you why I didn't..
B : Whatever. Please don't. If you wanted me there you would've called.
A (stunned enough to last the rest of conversation so assume) : Yes, because I didn't think you would gel well because even I didn't know them well enough and what I saw made me feel they could hurt you.
B : Whatever makes you feel comfortable. I've made my peace with the fact that you don't like hanging out with me except for a dinner every so often
A : I know that's how it's been and I've not been able to make a few plans but you still get most of my time apart from my wife. We've even been talking about going to a game and a concert this month.
B : Yes. Talk. That's what it all is. We talk and you hang out with other people. But that's ok.
A : But no.. you misunderstand. The only person I hang out more than you is my wife.
B : Whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you can't see it as clearly as I do I can't make you see it.
A : :S
Scenario 3 : No, you're wrong (Fake facts)
B : You know that the sun is the center of universe and earth revolves around it.
A : I know that earth revolves around the sun. But sun isn't the center of the universe.
B : No, you're wrong.
A : No.. I'm right.. (already :S) Didn't you read all about it in school.
B : Yes I did. But scientists have now proven that sun is in center actually.
A : No, they haven't. They know that sun isn't center of universe - probably because nobody knows how big universe is.
B : Yes they have. Correct your facts
A (exasperated and pulling up google search) : See. Google says there hasn't been any such finding.
B : No, it just shows top results those are old.
A : But I just searched specifically if there was any finding that sun was in center of universe.
B : No, that's not how google works. You'll see soon.
A : But I am in IT and that is exactly how google works.
B : You don't know that.
A : I do.
B : Nope, You're wrong.
A : :S
Scenario 4 : You can't think what I feel
B : So, I've been thinking that we should move to Paris.
A : But why?
B : Well, there are a lot of bakeries there and I like to bake. I think I'll feel happier there.
A : Hmm.. But there are a lot of bakeries here.
B : Yes, but I know Paris
A : You've lived there for so many years, so yes you know it. You haven't been here 4 months. Give it time you'll know this place too.
B : Yeah.. But I've already been here more than 3 months and I haven't been baking.
A : True. But you can. Why don't you do it.
B : I don't feel like it.
A : When you start baking and you start visiting different bakeries you'll start knowing this place too. Right now you are just feeling that because all you happy memories about baking have been in Paris.
B : You can't think what I feel. You don't know how it is. I think we should move to Paris so I can bake.
A : :S
Scenario 5 : A classic flip
B : You know we're going for a team outing this Friday
A : Yes. We're going bowling na?
B : No, we're planning to go for a hike and a picnic to Raven Hills.
A : Oh! ok.
Two days later
A : So are we all set for Raven Hills?
B : Raven Hills? Why?
A : The team outing - hiking and picnic..
B : No, no. We're going bowling. Everybody knows that. Why would you think about Raven Hills?
A : Umm.. Because you told me that on Monday.. ?
B : No. I would never say that. I don't even like hiking.
A : :S
So to summarize : The right mix of incorrect facts, stubbornness and a closed mind, and a high degree of self-confidence is key.
Here are some imaginary scenarios. Let me be the person A talking to person B.
Scenario 1 : No, no. You don't know what I know.
B : You know when India was fighting Pakistan in 1971, China also invaded India to get Kashmir for itself but our lads fought bravely and fended them off.
A : No - China supported Pakistan because it didn't want Bangladesh's independence but it didn't attack India on the border.
B : No, no. You don't know because it was a covert operation. Nobody but our politicians knew. But China invaded Kashmir because it wanted to build a road through it to Pakistan just like it's doing now. A new trade route. When that failed, it changed some policies and started exporting cheap goods everywhere anyway to become a global superpower.
A : Ok... I know it's building a road now but I don't think that's a plan from 1971... Also, if they anyways had a backup plan to sell cheap goods, and I don't know about policies much, why would they spend on military action which would cost more than just changing some policies?
B : No - it was easier for them since they were high up.
A : But I thought India had the higher ground.
B : No, no. You don't know.. you weren't there.
A : But neither were you.
B : Yes, but I know things that you don't.
A : Ok.. so tell me what things.
B : I just did.
A : :S
Scenario 2 : You don't see it clearly as I do
B : So, you didn't invite me to your party yesterday
A : It wasn't a party. It was just a couple of friends of my wife that came over.
B : Ya. And you could've called me.
A : Hmm.. I could and I was thinking of calling you. But I didn't know them and when I met them I didn't think you would gel well with them.
B : Please don't insult my intelligence by giving me excuses. The truth is you don't want to hang out with me. It's not the first time.
A(stunned) : I'm not giving excuses. I'm just telling you what happened and I know it's not the first..
B : You are. It was your choice and you didn't want me there.
A (still stunned) : Yes it was, and that 's what I'm trying to tell you why I didn't..
B : Whatever. Please don't. If you wanted me there you would've called.
A (stunned enough to last the rest of conversation so assume) : Yes, because I didn't think you would gel well because even I didn't know them well enough and what I saw made me feel they could hurt you.
B : Whatever makes you feel comfortable. I've made my peace with the fact that you don't like hanging out with me except for a dinner every so often
A : I know that's how it's been and I've not been able to make a few plans but you still get most of my time apart from my wife. We've even been talking about going to a game and a concert this month.
B : Yes. Talk. That's what it all is. We talk and you hang out with other people. But that's ok.
A : But no.. you misunderstand. The only person I hang out more than you is my wife.
B : Whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you can't see it as clearly as I do I can't make you see it.
A : :S
Scenario 3 : No, you're wrong (Fake facts)
B : You know that the sun is the center of universe and earth revolves around it.
A : I know that earth revolves around the sun. But sun isn't the center of the universe.
B : No, you're wrong.
A : No.. I'm right.. (already :S) Didn't you read all about it in school.
B : Yes I did. But scientists have now proven that sun is in center actually.
A : No, they haven't. They know that sun isn't center of universe - probably because nobody knows how big universe is.
B : Yes they have. Correct your facts
A (exasperated and pulling up google search) : See. Google says there hasn't been any such finding.
B : No, it just shows top results those are old.
A : But I just searched specifically if there was any finding that sun was in center of universe.
B : No, that's not how google works. You'll see soon.
A : But I am in IT and that is exactly how google works.
B : You don't know that.
A : I do.
B : Nope, You're wrong.
A : :S
Scenario 4 : You can't think what I feel
B : So, I've been thinking that we should move to Paris.
A : But why?
B : Well, there are a lot of bakeries there and I like to bake. I think I'll feel happier there.
A : Hmm.. But there are a lot of bakeries here.
B : Yes, but I know Paris
A : You've lived there for so many years, so yes you know it. You haven't been here 4 months. Give it time you'll know this place too.
B : Yeah.. But I've already been here more than 3 months and I haven't been baking.
A : True. But you can. Why don't you do it.
B : I don't feel like it.
A : When you start baking and you start visiting different bakeries you'll start knowing this place too. Right now you are just feeling that because all you happy memories about baking have been in Paris.
B : You can't think what I feel. You don't know how it is. I think we should move to Paris so I can bake.
A : :S
Scenario 5 : A classic flip
B : You know we're going for a team outing this Friday
A : Yes. We're going bowling na?
B : No, we're planning to go for a hike and a picnic to Raven Hills.
A : Oh! ok.
Two days later
A : So are we all set for Raven Hills?
B : Raven Hills? Why?
A : The team outing - hiking and picnic..
B : No, no. We're going bowling. Everybody knows that. Why would you think about Raven Hills?
A : Umm.. Because you told me that on Monday.. ?
B : No. I would never say that. I don't even like hiking.
A : :S
So to summarize : The right mix of incorrect facts, stubbornness and a closed mind, and a high degree of self-confidence is key.
