Sunday, March 22, 2015

Of Cocoons and Tortoise shells

I rarely read self-help books. I believe, and you would know this if you've read my past blogs, that the knowledge is inherently present in the human brain and more than learning - education is about discovering and connecting the dots. One of the few that I once picked and didn't finish coz I found it boring and nothing new to learn was "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". One of the things it says about men is that men are like a rubber-band. I kind of agree - though I do not like that analogy much and imagine a different meaning. Men will stretch to accommodate other's needs, esp. any special women they have in life - but with each stretch there comes an uneasiness. A need of liberation. And soon, there comes a point where they need to retreat back to the original position or will break. Alternately, u can pick the opinion of the book. And about women - it says that they are like the waves. Rise and Fall.

And this was why I didn't read any further. If you delve into it - both the behaviors are very similar. Stretch and Return. Rise and Fall.

Nyways - I didn't wanna talk about the book in this entry. That just came to my mind coz it was kind of related.

Recently, I've adopted a better analogy for the behavior between men and women. And I'm not gonna be specific about who does what - coz frankly that's not how the human brain works. A woman can as surely be a "rubber band" as a man can be "wave". The analogy I propose is of cocoons and tortoise shells.

All men and women have various ways to deal with things. Time to time when things get overwhelming - stretching of rubber band or a height of the wave or whatever other analogies you wanna use - they use these systems as a way to cope up. What I observe is two major kinds of retreat systems:

Cocoon : This kind of retreat system involves surrounding yourself with things you like and completely ignoring the things that you don't. To the point that someone can pick u up, toss you into boiling water and you won't notice until it's too late. This is a very comforting kind of retreat system and a preferred way of introspection. If you survive the time spent in it and continue the introspection process, at the appropriate time - which could be days to weeks - when you emerge you feel renewed. Ready to take on the world. Like you've added a new dimension to yourself. Until things get bad again and you remember how comforting the cocoon was and try to retreat.

Tortoise Shell : This kind of retreat system can be cumbersome. Unlike the cocoon which takes days to weeks, this kind of system is carried around everywhere and u can be in and out in a blink. At the first sign of things going South, you retreat into the shell. But unlike the cocoon, you are not blind here. So if a life threatening situation arises - you see it coming and may choose to act. Like the cocoon, the shell provides a familiar surrounding, thereby reassuring you. But unlike the cocoon, it also provides robustness. You can retreat and easily deflect all kinds of personal attacks. And still keeping an eye on the proceedings so as soon as u find a way out - you take it. This is the typical escapist approach. Deflect until the attack is over or you get an opportunity to run. However, because all the time goes in carrying the shell around, there's barely any time left for true introspection. You live longer - but you would never emerge out of the shell as a changed person.

Now, this is a topic about retreat systems - so don't get any "Why don't you take things head on" kind of ideas. Personally, shell is my favorite - however I've tried to reduce the time of hibernation in cocoon and have found them to be really effective for personal growth.

That's All Folks!!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Serendipity!?

Not so random thoughts.. Figured I should list it out..

1. I want you to be by my side so we watch the sunset over a beach together.
2. I want you by my side when I'm enjoying a drive with soothing music playing in the car.
3. I want you by my side when I'm just generally wondering looking at the raindrops falling from the sky through the glass top of my car.
4. I want you to listen to all my weird theories and give your comments/opinions - coz seriously, I am stupid and need someone sensible to listen to me and talk some sense into me.
5. I want you to be with me so we can together explore all the restaurants and eateries in every town/city we visit.
6. I want you to be there with me while we travel around the globe exploring all the wonderful things out there.
7. I want you to be the kid with me.. sing with me and dance with me.. in the public or at home. To just be crazy with me..
8. I want you to be my inspiration in life. The driving force so I can be a better person every day.
9. I also want you to be the foundation of my life going forth.
10. And lastly I need you to be the mother of my kids. Coz frankly, I will probably be an awful dad. So they'll need a better role model than me.

I can't promise much in return.. But..

1. I will always be there for you - whenever you need me.
2. If you wanna get drunk and need me to drive you back home - I promise not to drink a drop of alcohol.
3. If you are feeling low and need someone to listen - my ears would always be within reach.
4. If you ever need to cheer up - I'll make sure I have some good jokes handy
5. I will care for you and make sure that I have time for you whenever you need.

All in all, basically, I will be with you - always and forever - like the clichéd saying of in health and sickness and so on. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I will try to make all of it fun and filled with happiness, as much as I can, but will be able to do so only with your support.

So , :), will you marry me?

Sunday, March 15, 2015

What is it?

From the past few months, I'm feeling as if I'm losing my mind. Not in the sense that I'm going mad, but in the sense that I tend to forget things easily. Or that when I'm multitasking I'm not able to give appropriate concentration to all the tasks. Being me, I don't like either of them at all. And that makes me wonder - why? What has changed?

While I was in US I was able to spend a lot of time thinking and meditating on various topics. One of them was, how vast the universe is and how mindboggingly much is there to explore and learn. I loved reading books and just to read all the books that are out there in the world, it would surely take me more than one single lifetime. There are so many places to visit and to visit them all, is it really possible within one's life? There are so many good movies and TV series which people can watch and learn from, is it possible to watch all of them? Especially when continuously new books are being written, new movies and TV series are being made and new areas are being explored by various people. Not only this, I also wanted to learn all kinds of arts & crafts. Painting, drawing, sketching, playing a piano, various dances. How to accomplish everything?

Productivity.

That was my response. It's management term, and highly misused in today's IT world. But I started thinking about newer ways to improve my productivity. One way was multitasking. So, I would cook while watching a movie. I would travel while listening to songs. I would listen to songs while reading a book or learning how to sketch. I trained my senses to be independent of each other. Or at least tried to. So, my brain would process multiple things and a rapid pace.

And.. I loved it.

But now that I'm feeling unable to do that anymore.. Is it that I'm burned out? Is it that putting all that load on my mind has caused it to forget some other basic things? If I need to search for words these days - is it because of that? But then, practice should make a man perfect. So, what's wrong? Is it the food here? Is it the water? Environment? City? Or is it that I'm just not getting enough time for myself anymore? I don't have time to read books and that is affecting my thought processes and my vocabulary? I am spending most of my time talking to people who are unable to stimulate my brain?

I was reading an old draft entry for the blog that I haven't found the time to finish yet. It's about 3 years old and yet feels as if someone else has written it. Could it really be mine. Yes, I remember the idea. But how was I able to put it in such words. Could it very simply be that I'm getting older? Hmm.. Well.. Whatever..

Oh! That reminds me. Recently - Actually two months ago - I found that I was losing my self confidence. I wasn't the same person as what I was in college. I had started counting losses. For myself. And once again I made a conscious effort and am trying to change the attitude to be the same old arrogant person everyone hated. And loss - those aren't mine anymore. In every transaction there are atleast two people involved. And unless there is equality, one side gains and the other loses. Now those losses that I was counting aren't mine. If people judged me poorly, it's their loss. Not mine. And hence the return of Whatever!! :D

Hoping to reduce the time that I spent on worthless things - games, movies, etc. and to spend it more on better things. The blog, as I find is one of the better things.. If I'm able to stay away from the games, there are plenty of ideas that are stuffed in the cold storage section of my mind and need to be taken out, reheated and served on the blog. So if anyone actually reads my blog (and frankly I don't care if u do or don't) - Stay tuned!! :D