Perceptions & Facades

 I've written about perceptions earlier. At the time focusing on how society's perceptions impact how it moves together and builds the moral & ethical code of the time.

Today it's slightly different. I recently saw parts of a hindi movie where the protagonist had created facades around himself building a perception that he was this amazing person who could do no wrong while he himself did not think so. He knew that the view everyone around him had was because of what he shows them - his image and hence was very protective of it.

If you think about it, all of us do this everyday, and do not give it a second thought. Our speech is littered with phrases like putting the game face on, putting a brave face, poker face. Each has it's own scenario to be used in but each represent showing the world a facade that they need to see rather than who you actually are. It is an amazing tool to project confidence in circumstances that aren't conducive, project courage in the face of hopelessness or project what you want to really rather than painting a grim picture.

However, is it the best approach? If you're always smiling people assume you're happy. No one really knows whether you are or not. 

I remember this one experience from college. After our Term 1 exams, I had failed in 1 subject. In fact, more than half of the class had. After we all received the results, I was going about my way in the hostel corridor, being my happy self and a class mate asked me if I had passed. I told him, No - I had failed. For the next 2 mins our conversation was simply around this one fact where he refused to believe me and kept asking me why I wasn't telling him the truth (despite that being the truth). He stopped another classmate who was passing by and verified with him whether I had actually failed. Only after he confirmed that I had indeed failed that exam, did he, grudgingly, accept. And then explained his confusion because he saw me going about my way all merry and happy.

I strongly believe in variables that you can control and variables that you can't. If I can't control a variable - like India winning the world cup - I do not let it emotionally affect me. If I can control a variable, then I work towards building a clear plan and making the changes that I can. That does not mean I do not have emotions. It simply means that I am able to dissociate my emotions with my work. And people find it hard to believe and/or make an assumption (and assertion) in their head which is usually contradictory to what's really going on.

So do you project confidence when you're feeling bad or do you share with everyone that you're feeling bad?

The problem with latter is that people thrive on vibes. If I am down and I project that, I bring the vibe around me down. If I am perky, then I make others feel better - except the ones that want to sulk. But what if those are the people that really matter? Do you sulk with them? Or do you be the happy self, coz really there isn't anything you can do about it. Shh!! Who knows, I may get superpowers in the future and may be able to do everything.. 

Apprehensions

 So, D.H. Lawrence's short story - The Rocking Horse Winner - has been going through my mind for quite some time. I've thought deeply about it once earlier when I was in Louisville. Now is the second time my brain keeps reminding me of that story.

It's an amazing story depicting how unspoken words can turn into anxiety and stress and eat a person from the inside. The beautiful characterization uses a child as the primary protagonist who is a keen observer and undergoes that change. It keeps the narrative pure and engaging. It's a great commentary on how a household runs on vibes. Unspoken words, at times, carry a lot more weight than what people say out loud. It also explores luck - one of my favorite subjects and how the meaning of luck differs for everyone.

A short blog, this is going to be.

What is important, a person's principles or the happiness of who they love? What if the two conflict? What gives?

Random Thoughts

 So, Wheel of Time Season 2 arrived on Amazon Prime this weekend. I caught up on the first 3 episodes, and while I still don't like how they're butchering the books, this is a slight improvement on the mess that was Season 1.

I started thinking about why I didn't like this version. I love the series, but I'm not a hardcore fan of it. Drawing parallels, before Harry Potter and The Order of Phoenix came out, I came across a bunch of fan fiction, and one amongst them stood out. And I still maintain that fan fiction made for a much better story than what JKR eventually told in the actual book. Given that, I am open to minor tinkering in the story.

What I don't like is the character assassination that the series has done. I loved the books because I identified with the characters. I identified with the struggle Rand was going through. I identified with the mischievousness of Mat. I identified with the pure heart Perrin carried. I felt the awe that comes with moving from a smaller city to a metropolis. It gave me a sense of adventure, anticipation, and, most importantly, tools and theories that helped me make sense of the world around me.

I could sense the racial tensions and see how different cities had different affiliations. I could see the scars that old wars left on land and memory. I saw how different interpersonal relationships could pan out and how each decision and each move impacted the larger weave.

And all that is what is missing in the series. I don't identify with any of those characters. In order to make them feel more realistic, new backdrops & stories have been added, which make no sense unless you start thinking of the characters in a completely new light. The big cities don't feel grand. There is no specific culture - just people talking to others. We're shown that Cairhien is a political city because it's specifically mentioned in 1 conversation. Instead of allowing us to make up our minds - we're fed with what the series wants us to think. And that - I've never liked. I grew to like Selene in the books, but there were always indications that something wasn't right. In fact, she's still my favorite of the 13 forsaken - so much so that my D4 character is named after her.

So that's that.

How do you deal with emotional tiredness though? How do you deal when you want to make effort to better a relationship but every time you try, you are knocked back?