I rarely read self-help books. I believe, and you would know this if you've read my past blogs, that the knowledge is inherently present in the human brain and more than learning - education is about discovering and connecting the dots. One of the few that I once picked and didn't finish coz I found it boring and nothing new to learn was "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". One of the things it says about men is that men are like a rubber-band. I kind of agree - though I do not like that analogy much and imagine a different meaning. Men will stretch to accommodate other's needs, esp. any special women they have in life - but with each stretch there comes an uneasiness. A need of liberation. And soon, there comes a point where they need to retreat back to the original position or will break. Alternately, u can pick the opinion of the book. And about women - it says that they are like the waves. Rise and Fall.
And this was why I didn't read any further. If you delve into it - both the behaviors are very similar. Stretch and Return. Rise and Fall.
Nyways - I didn't wanna talk about the book in this entry. That just came to my mind coz it was kind of related.
Recently, I've adopted a better analogy for the behavior between men and women. And I'm not gonna be specific about who does what - coz frankly that's not how the human brain works. A woman can as surely be a "rubber band" as a man can be "wave". The analogy I propose is of cocoons and tortoise shells.
All men and women have various ways to deal with things. Time to time when things get overwhelming - stretching of rubber band or a height of the wave or whatever other analogies you wanna use - they use these systems as a way to cope up. What I observe is two major kinds of retreat systems:
Cocoon : This kind of retreat system involves surrounding yourself with things you like and completely ignoring the things that you don't. To the point that someone can pick u up, toss you into boiling water and you won't notice until it's too late. This is a very comforting kind of retreat system and a preferred way of introspection. If you survive the time spent in it and continue the introspection process, at the appropriate time - which could be days to weeks - when you emerge you feel renewed. Ready to take on the world. Like you've added a new dimension to yourself. Until things get bad again and you remember how comforting the cocoon was and try to retreat.
Tortoise Shell : This kind of retreat system can be cumbersome. Unlike the cocoon which takes days to weeks, this kind of system is carried around everywhere and u can be in and out in a blink. At the first sign of things going South, you retreat into the shell. But unlike the cocoon, you are not blind here. So if a life threatening situation arises - you see it coming and may choose to act. Like the cocoon, the shell provides a familiar surrounding, thereby reassuring you. But unlike the cocoon, it also provides robustness. You can retreat and easily deflect all kinds of personal attacks. And still keeping an eye on the proceedings so as soon as u find a way out - you take it. This is the typical escapist approach. Deflect until the attack is over or you get an opportunity to run. However, because all the time goes in carrying the shell around, there's barely any time left for true introspection. You live longer - but you would never emerge out of the shell as a changed person.
Now, this is a topic about retreat systems - so don't get any "Why don't you take things head on" kind of ideas. Personally, shell is my favorite - however I've tried to reduce the time of hibernation in cocoon and have found them to be really effective for personal growth.
That's All Folks!!
And this was why I didn't read any further. If you delve into it - both the behaviors are very similar. Stretch and Return. Rise and Fall.
Nyways - I didn't wanna talk about the book in this entry. That just came to my mind coz it was kind of related.
Recently, I've adopted a better analogy for the behavior between men and women. And I'm not gonna be specific about who does what - coz frankly that's not how the human brain works. A woman can as surely be a "rubber band" as a man can be "wave". The analogy I propose is of cocoons and tortoise shells.
All men and women have various ways to deal with things. Time to time when things get overwhelming - stretching of rubber band or a height of the wave or whatever other analogies you wanna use - they use these systems as a way to cope up. What I observe is two major kinds of retreat systems:
Cocoon : This kind of retreat system involves surrounding yourself with things you like and completely ignoring the things that you don't. To the point that someone can pick u up, toss you into boiling water and you won't notice until it's too late. This is a very comforting kind of retreat system and a preferred way of introspection. If you survive the time spent in it and continue the introspection process, at the appropriate time - which could be days to weeks - when you emerge you feel renewed. Ready to take on the world. Like you've added a new dimension to yourself. Until things get bad again and you remember how comforting the cocoon was and try to retreat.
Tortoise Shell : This kind of retreat system can be cumbersome. Unlike the cocoon which takes days to weeks, this kind of system is carried around everywhere and u can be in and out in a blink. At the first sign of things going South, you retreat into the shell. But unlike the cocoon, you are not blind here. So if a life threatening situation arises - you see it coming and may choose to act. Like the cocoon, the shell provides a familiar surrounding, thereby reassuring you. But unlike the cocoon, it also provides robustness. You can retreat and easily deflect all kinds of personal attacks. And still keeping an eye on the proceedings so as soon as u find a way out - you take it. This is the typical escapist approach. Deflect until the attack is over or you get an opportunity to run. However, because all the time goes in carrying the shell around, there's barely any time left for true introspection. You live longer - but you would never emerge out of the shell as a changed person.
Now, this is a topic about retreat systems - so don't get any "Why don't you take things head on" kind of ideas. Personally, shell is my favorite - however I've tried to reduce the time of hibernation in cocoon and have found them to be really effective for personal growth.
That's All Folks!!
