Stressors & Relaxers

Two months after I hoped I would be in my high-performing state, I finally feel I am. My thoughts now naturally wander to places I like. I'm thinking better, doing better, and feeling better.

Some of it can be attributed to the "me time" I have had since Aditi was on vacation in India. But I want to attribute a lion's share to the small changes I've been trying to make since last year. Puts Atomic Habits into a very real perspective. You don't see it coming, but you can look back and see all the good work you put into build-up over time.

Last year, around this time, I was stressed out. I had fewer responsibilities than now, but when I look back, I remember having thoughts when, while driving to my office, I had thoughts of just skipping and continuing to drive down the road to wherever it took me. No destination. That's where my idea of a long road trip originated from. I was insecure, unsure, and anxious.

Now, 1 year later, even though I have more responsibilities - I bought a house, got a promotion, am leading a new project, and managing more people - I feel much happier, more relaxed, and more content.

So what changed? I reflected. 

And I found that I was keeping a lot of stressors with me and was not giving myself any relaxers.

I was trying to control things that weren't in my control. I was trying to help people that didn't want to be helped. I was dwelling a lot on communication gaps like when people wouldn't understand what I was trying to say. I had stopped improving. I had stopped learning. I was stagnant. All of these and more were my stressors.

What are my relaxers? I've talked about it previously. Music - I wasn't listening to it much. Creativity - I wasn't making anything new. Me Time - I wasn't having any. Water - I wasn't spending much time with it. Thinking - I couldn't do much because I wasn't getting time to myself.

And that's all there was to it. Life will always send stressors your way. That's what life does. Things are going well, and then they suddenly don't. The key to getting through is to not let those stressors build up and continue to visit your relaxers. Things that make you happy. Put one step in front of another and keep walking. Until a solution is in sight. Until things again change for the better.

Now I'm listening to music nearly every single day. I've been woodworking and gardening. I have time to think and write these blogs.