Leadership & Patience

 So, I've been in the transition phase from being a developer to becoming a leader.  And it has been an eye-opening journey. As a developer, I only had a little appreciation for managers - as evident in my previous blog posts. However, playing that role and starting to think about how top leaders operate, I see why it's such a difficult job.

As a developer, I would look at my emails, identify the tasks, fix bugs, code a story or two, and feel accomplished, like I've done my job because the deliverables were tangible. Looking at the top leadership, the tangible outcomes tend to become far and few. One would end up working for years on an initiative before the outcome. It becomes more about vision and doing the small things the right way. It's akin to planting a mango tree. You're lucky if the tree grows and starts producing fruits, and you're still there to see it, but most of the time, the next generation will enjoy the fruits. However, as the tree starts, keeping it healthy and tending to it to ensure it reaches the mature state where it starts fruition is essential. And that's what leaders provide. They provide the vision with which the trees are planted; they provide the nurturing hand helping them grow; but they may not be around to see the tangible benefits.

And that is the essence of leadership and visionaries. They need to be self-motivated and have tremendous amounts of self-confidence. Because there will be detractors who may not see the benefit. There will be people who would instead plant corn or soy and reap the benefits sooner. The leaders, however, understand that the world needs all those people. The world needs its critics, needs the corn & soy, and needs the trees.

EMBA Chronicles - Ep 3

So, we started the third term this weekend. It's always interesting to see the mix of Professors. I met a couple of new professors who were very well-read, and I had amazing discussions with them. Also met a Prof who doesn't believe that IITR as an institution/organization needs to worry about what businesses want from their grads and/or should spend time on improving the processes within, as it's a govt. Organizations and Profs don't have any control, interest, or say in the administration.

This prompted me to think about educational institutions and their responsibilities. And I can see the latter's point, but I would like to disagree. 

You see, I believe that one should always strive to improve the environment around them. It doesn't matter whether they are in a private institution, public organization, or their own homes. Everything around you has scope for improvement. If humankind had decided that caves provided a perfectly comfortable and safe residence, we wouldn't have the modern cities that we have today. If we had decided that fire was too unsafe to use, we would still be eating raw grains and meats. It's the inherently curious nature that propels us to do better and helps us move forward. I recently discovered that it's called the Campground principle - Leave the campground a better place than how you found it. Essentially, clean up after yourself, thinking of the people that would follow, and not leave all the trash lying around. I also saw a meme that suggested how we Indians, esp. in India, like to keep our houses spotless but happily litter when outside without giving it a second thought.

To the professor's credit, he did say that IITRs responsibility is to research the topics that are interesting and can be groundbreaking. But what about social responsibilities? 

From the very first year that I joined the corporate world, I have had a consistent goal of adding process improvements. And I've been good at it, if I may say so. Process Analysis, Automation, Transformations - I love all of those. But I had no idea of any of it before joining the Corp world. In my college or school, I never was asked for feedback and never saw anyone remotely interested in improving the way things worked. I'm sure there were people that worked on improving the facilities, infrastructure, teaching quality, etc., but they would've worked in silos as largely it was the "Chalta hai" or the "Not My Problem to solve" approach.

Had I seen people around me Act as Owners and strive to make a difference, I can safely say I would be better equipped for the corporate world. I see this as a benefit to not just the target business organizations that the students would get into but also as a step in the right direction for the educational institutions.

Despite going through Agile training and reading about it, it wasn't until my 4th year, when I started working with a team that emulated the Agile methodology to near perfection, that I really understood how to make it work and what all those terms really mean. When it says Retros are to discuss items that can improve the functioning of the team, I saw that the team said things that were obvious factors and could turn a person defensive and make them feel bad. Yet, the team motto of What's said in a Retro stays in a Retro was perfectly emulated, and team members understood that they weren't being targeted personally but that simple facts were being discussed, and they would do well to ask for help next time they got stuck somewhere. It was a perfect amalgamation of professionalism and process improvement.

That is not something that is taught in any educational institution, esp. in India. In fact, the teachers and professors relish the power that comes with the position and aren't really willing to change themselves or anything around them. In a government organization like IITR, this is clearly evident because of the security the government positions afford them, with Professors stating and claiming that they can do what they want and nobody can budge them from their position.

However, if an institution decides to go that route, I can see immense success in its future. What businesses want mostly is leaders, not managers. People who are role models and think differently. People who Act like Owners and strive to make a difference. Giving an environment where these qualities are pervasive would translate into it becoming a habit for every student who goes through that institution. This would be very attractive to organizations that are always looking for such talents, and they would be ready to dish out high packages to recruit those students who would become future leaders. This would, in turn, increase the reputation of the institution, allowing for bigger budgets for the groundbreaking research that the Prof. claims the institutions are actually for.

As the 1% rule explains, a small change, if done enough number of times, can bring about a huge return on investments as every change is cumulative.

Love thyself

 How important is loving oneself? Narcissism is considered a mental disorder. And the common consensus is that one needs to look at themselves critically to identify the areas of improvement and get better. But when that criticism of self starts eroding one's self-confidence, is it still the path to improvement, or should one take a step back, reflect, and learn to love oneself along with critical analysis of one's actions?

As with most of my recent blogs, this stems from a song I've rediscovered recently. "I'm the best" from the Hindi movie Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani.. It's a song sung by the protagonist and throughout the whole song simply points how the protagonist is the best at everything they do and nobody's better.

I tend to be very critical of myself. I've previously stated that the bar I set for myself is usually much higher than what the others set. That means that in my own opinion, I very rarely am performing even up to the mark. This leads to a lot of insecurities that have developed unconsciously over the years, and I reminisce back to the times when my self-confidence was so high that I never let anyone else impact what I thought was correct. I was called arrogant with a need to be right all the time. But that is who I am. That is who I would like to be. And not without reason - I do tend to put a lot of effort into learning and doing. I still don't think I'm the best at everything I do, but I think with this song playing in my head, I can say I'm better than most at most.

I do not do that for the applause or recognition. At least, I would like to think that I don't. However, in being self-critical, I noticed that I pull myself down a lot, and if others around me are also doing the same, I lose confidence in my ideas and thoughts that actually make me different. All my life, having tried to be different than others, that's counterintuitive and counterproductive. 

One feedback I received last year from my coach was that I need to start appreciating myself as well instead of just being self-reductive. And that's where this song comes in. Weirdly, while I don't agree with the self-pandering in the song, it is very comforting to hear that I'm the best coz that's what we all strive for. Don't we?

So, I would say, be critical of yourself, but love thyself as well. Self confidence is the cornerstone of your individuality. Let it shine as long as it does not come in the way of others. Be a narcissist as long as it enables you to move forward and doesn't hold you back.

EMBA Chronicles - Ep 2

 So, another month of classes, another round of last moment class cancellations, switching class timings and the stuff that we are normalized to. A few issues still stand out, however. 

Two months ago, the Academic Affairs Office decided to change the names for some of us to match the name on the “last academic document based on which our admission into IITR was finalized.”

“ Really? That’s an issue?”, you’d think, “Name’s a name”

For a few of us, our names were different on those documents for various reasons. Some female colleagues got married and took on their husband’s last name. For others it was a logistics issue with their previous institution. For me, when I entered in 2003, the system in my institution had a character limit. Due to that they were unable to enter my full name and left my last name out - Yes, my name is that long.

Now, however, all of my govt. issued IDs, recent course certificates contain my last name.

So, I conveyed to the AAO the reason why my full name does not show on my 16+ years old degree, providing them a copy of my passport, my Aadhaar card, secondary and high school marksheets all of which contain my full name. I also provided more recent Coursera certificates - the same platform that IITR is using to market this EMBA degree - but to no avail. There would be only one they would refer to - the one with the missing last name. 

I’m amazed at the logic of this. IITR - a government institution - refuses to recognize government issued IDs rather putting faith in the one and only document that does not have my full name. No alternatives accepted. No alternatives provided.

So, I wrote to a few people I believed were in leadership positions and received an assurance that the matter will be looked into.

Two months later, the seats have changed occupants. And, on following up, I’m being told to go directly to AAO. The same department that I’m trying to ask for help with.

Effectively, as I understand, this is called “passing the buck” or “not my responsibility”. 

Two months ago, another thing happened. The only non-Indian student from our batch, got tired of the admin mess and left the batch. But of course, things happen, that isn’t really a reason for IITR to learn and sort things out. Is it? Or the 50% drop out rate from batch 1. Or the 5 other people from our batch that have dropped since the start of program.

The classes have been amazing, on the other hand. Lots of discussions, new things to learn. There has been a tinge of cultural difference that I have noticed in the approaches suggested to various problems, but that is something I expect and can transfer to my workplace. Things in my work that I used to gloss over - I notice them now. So the learning journey has truly started and I believe in the added value of the knowledge the professors are able to impart. 

So if the professors know what works and how to get an organization to work smoothly, implement projects successfully, why is there such a mess?

In my opinion, it’s a a combination of a few factors. IITR is a government organization. And government appointments come with tenure, security of job, pressure of a lot of work, and the ability to pass the work to someone else. There’s little accountability except to the few people that are going to evaluate. There’s little transparency. Because I said so - can be a real policy. Then there’s ego - both the driving factor and the nemesis of Indian management. It’s an amazing tool for personal growth. It’s also something that can completely hamper team work and block organizations from growing and moving forward. It is such a blocker for collaboration & cooperation. I was once told that everybody who is excellent at something is arrogant in some capacity. And I agree, arrogance can form the core for your confidence. However, you cannot let it come in between you and the greater good. Put two arrogant egotistical people on two sides of a topic and you will see them reach an impasse in no time.

One of the reasons I like Schneider Electric, is the core value of Act Like Owners. It is very close to my heart. I believe that all of us give our best and try our best when we feel like we actually own something. I will put a lot more effort and focus to fix a house that I own than what my neighbor does. Ownership is what drives change. If I don’t care for something or don’t own it, why would I feel the urge to do anything with it? This is something we have studied in the EMBA classes as well. However, it is completely missing in the way everything is organized and managed. There are a few people that keep trying on the behalf of the students. And there are a lot more people that keep ignoring or refuting them. Endless cycle of chaos and churn which eventually results in a low Say/Do ratio on the part of IITR.

Then there’s issue of Mettl. The Mercer platform that allows you to take exams remotely, captures video and raises flags if it detects head movements, or clicking outside of the browser window. Again, a choice made by IITR to conduct exams. Limitations of the platform aside - it’s the trust on Mettl and how professors are trying to use it that surprises me. Once again, there are some that understand how it works, craft the exams in such a way that they utilize the various features Mettl provides. And then there are others who take it and try to adapt the platform to what they are comfortable with. 

Making an analogy - I have a need to go somewhere, I have a tool - a car, that I can use to go there, but I have just never driven one. Till I got the car, I was just driving horse carts. So I would either find a driver to drive me, or I would learn to drive if I have enough time. 

Alternately, I could rip the top off the car to let fresh air pass through when I’m in the car. I can add 4 horses in front of the car to pull it. This also will accomplish my travel need and keep me in my comfort bubble. I don’t need a driver and I don’t need to learn a new skill. And I can still use the shiny new car and show that I’m taking advantage of the tool I’ve been given.

Everyone is entitled to their choice but at times, I’m just astounded when people go with an option that looks like the latter. I mean just because it’s an option doesn’t mean you should go for it.

Anyways, long post today. I brought the car for maintenance, and it’s ready now. Until later, as I’m sure there will be more.

My EMBA Chronicles - Ep 1

So, a few months ago, I decided to pursue an E-MBA degree. After research and consideration, I stumbled upon an option to do so from DoMS IIT Roorkee. IITR is a famous institution for its technical UG programs. I made an assumption that being one of the premier institutes, DoMS would be leading the charge and help me learn concepts that I could apply to my job. So, I applied, and three months ago, I was accepted into their Executive MBA program.

Little did I know what I was getting into and what would follow.

This series, stemming from advice from a friend, will be the documentation of my journey.

The initiation of Term 1 was marked with typical Admin issues - communication delays, uncertainty of next steps - that made me feel as if nothing had changed since I graduated in 2007, and government institutions were still being run the same way.

Once the admin issues were sorted, it was a whirlwind of classes, lectures, and assignments for 7 courses in less than 7 weeks. Typical IITR pressure, I thought. It's gonna help me by making me able to do more. After all, pressure is what converts a lump of coal into a diamond.

Little things still bugged me, like the fact that assignments for all 7 subjects weren't shared until we asked when only 3 more weeks to exams were left. But the speed at which everything came at us did not let me step back and think.

Some professors understood what the program was about and tailored their content and exams to suit the audience and the program. And then there were relics, who, in the era of ChatGPT, asked us to send hand-written assignments and, when submitted, told us that we had made blunders. Blunders so big that if we were to present that to our boss, we would be fired. I wanted to assure them that if we submitted the report they wanted from us, 7-8 pages of hand-written notes to answer a question, I would have a higher chance of getting fired for not understanding my audience rather than for providing a clear and concise answer where they can always ask for more details.

Then the exams happened. 

After everything was done, I knew I could've done better. But I was happy with what I was able to do.

There's a lot more to write, and every day, IIT-R gives me more content to write about. For now, I'm gonna stop here. Stay tuned for Ep 2.

Perceptions & Facades

 I've written about perceptions earlier. At the time focusing on how society's perceptions impact how it moves together and builds the moral & ethical code of the time.

Today it's slightly different. I recently saw parts of a hindi movie where the protagonist had created facades around himself building a perception that he was this amazing person who could do no wrong while he himself did not think so. He knew that the view everyone around him had was because of what he shows them - his image and hence was very protective of it.

If you think about it, all of us do this everyday, and do not give it a second thought. Our speech is littered with phrases like putting the game face on, putting a brave face, poker face. Each has it's own scenario to be used in but each represent showing the world a facade that they need to see rather than who you actually are. It is an amazing tool to project confidence in circumstances that aren't conducive, project courage in the face of hopelessness or project what you want to really rather than painting a grim picture.

However, is it the best approach? If you're always smiling people assume you're happy. No one really knows whether you are or not. 

I remember this one experience from college. After our Term 1 exams, I had failed in 1 subject. In fact, more than half of the class had. After we all received the results, I was going about my way in the hostel corridor, being my happy self and a class mate asked me if I had passed. I told him, No - I had failed. For the next 2 mins our conversation was simply around this one fact where he refused to believe me and kept asking me why I wasn't telling him the truth (despite that being the truth). He stopped another classmate who was passing by and verified with him whether I had actually failed. Only after he confirmed that I had indeed failed that exam, did he, grudgingly, accept. And then explained his confusion because he saw me going about my way all merry and happy.

I strongly believe in variables that you can control and variables that you can't. If I can't control a variable - like India winning the world cup - I do not let it emotionally affect me. If I can control a variable, then I work towards building a clear plan and making the changes that I can. That does not mean I do not have emotions. It simply means that I am able to dissociate my emotions with my work. And people find it hard to believe and/or make an assumption (and assertion) in their head which is usually contradictory to what's really going on.

So do you project confidence when you're feeling bad or do you share with everyone that you're feeling bad?

The problem with latter is that people thrive on vibes. If I am down and I project that, I bring the vibe around me down. If I am perky, then I make others feel better - except the ones that want to sulk. But what if those are the people that really matter? Do you sulk with them? Or do you be the happy self, coz really there isn't anything you can do about it. Shh!! Who knows, I may get superpowers in the future and may be able to do everything.. 

Apprehensions

 So, D.H. Lawrence's short story - The Rocking Horse Winner - has been going through my mind for quite some time. I've thought deeply about it once earlier when I was in Louisville. Now is the second time my brain keeps reminding me of that story.

It's an amazing story depicting how unspoken words can turn into anxiety and stress and eat a person from the inside. The beautiful characterization uses a child as the primary protagonist who is a keen observer and undergoes that change. It keeps the narrative pure and engaging. It's a great commentary on how a household runs on vibes. Unspoken words, at times, carry a lot more weight than what people say out loud. It also explores luck - one of my favorite subjects and how the meaning of luck differs for everyone.

A short blog, this is going to be.

What is important, a person's principles or the happiness of who they love? What if the two conflict? What gives?