Love thyself

 How important is loving oneself? Narcissism is considered a mental disorder. And the common consensus is that one needs to look at themselves critically to identify the areas of improvement and get better. But when that criticism of self starts eroding one's self-confidence, is it still the path to improvement, or should one take a step back, reflect, and learn to love oneself along with critical analysis of one's actions?

As with most of my recent blogs, this stems from a song I've rediscovered recently. "I'm the best" from the Hindi movie Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani.. It's a song sung by the protagonist and throughout the whole song simply points how the protagonist is the best at everything they do and nobody's better.

I tend to be very critical of myself. I've previously stated that the bar I set for myself is usually much higher than what the others set. That means that in my own opinion, I very rarely am performing even up to the mark. This leads to a lot of insecurities that have developed unconsciously over the years, and I reminisce back to the times when my self-confidence was so high that I never let anyone else impact what I thought was correct. I was called arrogant with a need to be right all the time. But that is who I am. That is who I would like to be. And not without reason - I do tend to put a lot of effort into learning and doing. I still don't think I'm the best at everything I do, but I think with this song playing in my head, I can say I'm better than most at most.

I do not do that for the applause or recognition. At least, I would like to think that I don't. However, in being self-critical, I noticed that I pull myself down a lot, and if others around me are also doing the same, I lose confidence in my ideas and thoughts that actually make me different. All my life, having tried to be different than others, that's counterintuitive and counterproductive. 

One feedback I received last year from my coach was that I need to start appreciating myself as well instead of just being self-reductive. And that's where this song comes in. Weirdly, while I don't agree with the self-pandering in the song, it is very comforting to hear that I'm the best coz that's what we all strive for. Don't we?

So, I would say, be critical of yourself, but love thyself as well. Self confidence is the cornerstone of your individuality. Let it shine as long as it does not come in the way of others. Be a narcissist as long as it enables you to move forward and doesn't hold you back.