Perceptions & Facades

 I've written about perceptions earlier. At the time focusing on how society's perceptions impact how it moves together and builds the moral & ethical code of the time.

Today it's slightly different. I recently saw parts of a hindi movie where the protagonist had created facades around himself building a perception that he was this amazing person who could do no wrong while he himself did not think so. He knew that the view everyone around him had was because of what he shows them - his image and hence was very protective of it.

If you think about it, all of us do this everyday, and do not give it a second thought. Our speech is littered with phrases like putting the game face on, putting a brave face, poker face. Each has it's own scenario to be used in but each represent showing the world a facade that they need to see rather than who you actually are. It is an amazing tool to project confidence in circumstances that aren't conducive, project courage in the face of hopelessness or project what you want to really rather than painting a grim picture.

However, is it the best approach? If you're always smiling people assume you're happy. No one really knows whether you are or not. 

I remember this one experience from college. After our Term 1 exams, I had failed in 1 subject. In fact, more than half of the class had. After we all received the results, I was going about my way in the hostel corridor, being my happy self and a class mate asked me if I had passed. I told him, No - I had failed. For the next 2 mins our conversation was simply around this one fact where he refused to believe me and kept asking me why I wasn't telling him the truth (despite that being the truth). He stopped another classmate who was passing by and verified with him whether I had actually failed. Only after he confirmed that I had indeed failed that exam, did he, grudgingly, accept. And then explained his confusion because he saw me going about my way all merry and happy.

I strongly believe in variables that you can control and variables that you can't. If I can't control a variable - like India winning the world cup - I do not let it emotionally affect me. If I can control a variable, then I work towards building a clear plan and making the changes that I can. That does not mean I do not have emotions. It simply means that I am able to dissociate my emotions with my work. And people find it hard to believe and/or make an assumption (and assertion) in their head which is usually contradictory to what's really going on.

So do you project confidence when you're feeling bad or do you share with everyone that you're feeling bad?

The problem with latter is that people thrive on vibes. If I am down and I project that, I bring the vibe around me down. If I am perky, then I make others feel better - except the ones that want to sulk. But what if those are the people that really matter? Do you sulk with them? Or do you be the happy self, coz really there isn't anything you can do about it. Shh!! Who knows, I may get superpowers in the future and may be able to do everything..