Insanity

I am an escapist. I guess... That is probably one of the reasons I am able to find loopholes or counter arguments everywhere and so quickly. Even if they are weird.
So this actually comes from something that happened last Thursday. I was having a lunch with a couple of teammates and as usual a topic came where we started debating things. Now, something that I know about myself is that for most of the topics I can argue from any side. For or Against. So the argument was actually on whether human brain is mapped differently in different individuals or not. And I was arguing against it even when I don't believe that every human carries the same brain. There are examples galore of this phenomenon and most common is autistic people. However this is not a blog about that topic. Rather this is something I have been thinking a lot lately.
Lot of times, I question myself. I question whether I am still sane. And as soon as I start trudging down this track it grows deeper and deeper into a vortex. I still havent found an answer. Maybe I am after all an insane person.
So mostly the question comes after I do something and all that's left of it is a memory. So for eg. I just no returned from an awesome trip to NY. During the return trip I was reading a book on the plane. So when I finally left the book and got hold of my bearing, everything I did in NY was a past memory. But so was the book. And so are a thousand other things. Some real. Some not. But everything having voices and pictures. Like a movie scene.
So I wonder, when people think, do they hear themselves think? But thoughts should not be sound. So why does it feel the same like hearing voices. If no one else does and its only me... Am I not insane?
I wonder that, how, when I read a book I am so immersed into it that I see everything actually happening in front of my eyes. So when I have just read something how is that text converted into pictures that I have actually never seen?? Same goes for dreams. Why do I see something that's not actually there? Am I insane?
It doesn't stop there. A voice pumping ideas and weird theory in my mind. All complete with sound logic. Why do I hear those? Is that again my thoughts.
And why is it that only I think about such things. Why not others?
Why do I always chose the path that has less traffic/crowd?
Why do I tend to behave in a way unusual as compared to others.
And mainly why do I have such extreme moods and swings?
There are so many whys that need answering. So many things still to be discovered. So many things to know about.
Well, am suddenly feeling sleepy. Will continue in next blog maybe.