Tinted Glasses

I've already written a blog about how much it peeves me to hear the phrase "It depends" to a simple Yes/No answer. Let me add to that. I absolutely hate it when people turn a bias into a defense for their thinking.
The bias could take any form. "You haven't lived here long enough so you don't know", "You are a girl/guy so you wouldn't understand", "You've never worked under my manager so you don't know".
This is how it happens.. Two people start talking about something. One explains a particular issue they are having in their life and asks for others' advice. The other starts advising but the advice is soon thrown out of the window coz "No I couldn't do this and you wouldn't understand because you " 
Why is this a pet peeve now? Coz all my life I've dedicated time to observe people. So much that I don't even like being around most based on my observations. And there's a difference between a quick judgement and forming an opinion based on observations. Amazingly, people do not understand the difference. I digress. So, I love knowledge and I love observing people. Combine that and you get someone with a decent enough understanding of how people work. I've seen friends, family, colleagues come to me to talk about their issues and get advice since they know I weigh everything and provide them a neutral view free from bias. And yet, often I get the "You don't understand coz.." because the other party refuses to comprehend the complex logic behind things.
No clue where I'm going with this but whatever.

Noise. Chaos. Mess.

As I mentioned in the last blog that there are a lot of thought chains running in my head and about 7-8 topics I've wanted to write about. Well, they're just increasing in intensity and strength. So it seems that not all people are able to comprehend the world in the same way that I do. It also seems that people are prone to find another person's life perfect. So much so that they would try to find the worst thing that annoys them and turn it into their tormentor.
I did it once. Funny thing is, I found it annoying how some people close to me loved me while so many others crave for affection. I started distancing myself from them and was successful. But how can someone stop love? Lot of them still love me, I just don't give them a chance to show.
Once I did, I craved for affection. But I couldn't return.

Perfection

There have been around 7 or 8 topics over the past few weeks on which I've wanted to pen down my thoughts. But well, I'm married now and the blog has taken a backseat.. Not that I was churning out blogs by dozens before. But I can finally use marriage as an excuse for once, so just lemme.

The foremost among all topics that have been bugging me is Perfection.What is it? Who defines it? Can anyone achieve it? Has there been anybody who was just perfect in each and every way. I've never worn suits but these ads have always attracted me and egged me on to find perfection. Weird - right? But well.. that's how it has always been.

Of late, I've been told - Nobody is perfect and one shouldn't try to achieve it. It's hopeless/worthless/waste of time - pick one. Instead one should live life to it's fullest. This has caused me to look back on pretty much my whole life in which every action I took was to move forward to be a better person. Better by whose standards, you ask? Mine. I believe perfection like beauty, lies in the eyes of the beholder. For someone begging at a street light, a guy in Mercedes may seem to have a perfect life. Or not. As I said, eyes of the beholder.

Broke the chain of thought.. Rest may follow later..

Stupid List #1 - Left handed stuff

So I sprained my right thumb/wrist last Friday and as it's in a splint, have to use only one hand for various activities. For some stupid reason I thought about what I can and can't do with just my left hand and wanted to actually list it out.. This may be an evolving list as I discover more:

Things I can do with Left Hand only :

1. Eat
2. Type - Write a blog
3. Attend and make phone calls
4. Use a laptop to watch movies
5. Pour myself juice in a glass and drink
6. Clean the dishes
7. Laundry
8. Vacuum the floors
9. Write (in a crude but discernible way)
10. Play basic arcade games like candy crush and HoC
11. Make my bed
12. Shopping.. :P
13. Use chopsticks!! :D

Things I can't do with Left Hand only:
1. Cook
2. Drive
3. Photography using my current DSLR
4. Sketching (Though to be fair, I haven't tried this yet..)

People vs Machines

So the ideas behind this entry have been going on in my mind for a couple of months now, but I just couldn't get to it. Back in the US, I'm trying to get back to " the high energy levels with low sleep while getting a lot of things done " self, and so haven't been spending time on hobbies as much. Today, something changed.

So as I said - I've been thinking about machines and people. And how I trust the machines a lot more than I trust people - which doesn't mean that I don't trust people. Just that if I was stuck in the middle of a lake, I would prefer a remote controlled boat with the remote in my hand over a person standing on the shore watching my predicament.

People are fickle. Machines are not. My computer has 3 hours and 19 minutes worth of battery left  and if I do not charge it, it's not gonna complain - maybe remind me but never accuse me until it's dead (switch off due to lack of electricity). In my dictionary that's selflessness though to argue the point there is not self in case of machines. But that is what makes machines different from humans and slightly more reliable. If a machine stops working - there is always a logical reason. If a person stops talking, or changes their behaviour - logical may just be a perspective.

Now this thought originated while listening to one of my American friends talk about his other Indian friends suddenly behaving hypocritically. I have always believed that we as Indians learn the art of hypocrisy (or softly putting it - art of being politically correct) at a very young age. We love manipulating people - mostly coz it adds to the drama that happens around us and we love drama. However, a lot of people do not understand that and still believe in the age old ways of "Do I have your word?" and take you on it. But when the "sudden circumstances" stop you from keeping your word - they do not understand. And this is where the machines start gaining an edge. The sudden circumstances are mostly related to the comfort of self. Oh well! It was so hot and we were tired so we couldn't do this. However, the machines would blow themselves out trying to do what they were supposed to.

The thought compounded by the additional observations I made around myself - looking at various people and different transactions happening and actually seeing how little people in the world today are ready to go out of their way to help someone.

The thoughts going through my mind today - have been a huge swing factor in favor of the machines.
Because, there's no thinking involved and there's no sense of self - there are no ego clashes while dealing with machines. There's no one who has to be better or worse. A logical plan can be implemented flawlessly if machines are involved. That's coz the human factor is reduced. We have six sigma process for creation of machines to reduce the errors and to achieve flawlessness. We discard the machines that do not live upto the quality standards. No such process exists for humans.

As usual, I can go on and on - but wanna get some sleep and before concluding let me mention (and kinda repeat) - this does not mean that I'm anti-human.. Mistakes are what make us human. However, sometimes dealing with humans can get a whole lot frustrating - well.. just coz they're humans. With machines - logic always works.

Of Cocoons and Tortoise shells

I rarely read self-help books. I believe, and you would know this if you've read my past blogs, that the knowledge is inherently present in the human brain and more than learning - education is about discovering and connecting the dots. One of the few that I once picked and didn't finish coz I found it boring and nothing new to learn was "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus". One of the things it says about men is that men are like a rubber-band. I kind of agree - though I do not like that analogy much and imagine a different meaning. Men will stretch to accommodate other's needs, esp. any special women they have in life - but with each stretch there comes an uneasiness. A need of liberation. And soon, there comes a point where they need to retreat back to the original position or will break. Alternately, u can pick the opinion of the book. And about women - it says that they are like the waves. Rise and Fall.

And this was why I didn't read any further. If you delve into it - both the behaviors are very similar. Stretch and Return. Rise and Fall.

Nyways - I didn't wanna talk about the book in this entry. That just came to my mind coz it was kind of related.

Recently, I've adopted a better analogy for the behavior between men and women. And I'm not gonna be specific about who does what - coz frankly that's not how the human brain works. A woman can as surely be a "rubber band" as a man can be "wave". The analogy I propose is of cocoons and tortoise shells.

All men and women have various ways to deal with things. Time to time when things get overwhelming - stretching of rubber band or a height of the wave or whatever other analogies you wanna use - they use these systems as a way to cope up. What I observe is two major kinds of retreat systems:

Cocoon : This kind of retreat system involves surrounding yourself with things you like and completely ignoring the things that you don't. To the point that someone can pick u up, toss you into boiling water and you won't notice until it's too late. This is a very comforting kind of retreat system and a preferred way of introspection. If you survive the time spent in it and continue the introspection process, at the appropriate time - which could be days to weeks - when you emerge you feel renewed. Ready to take on the world. Like you've added a new dimension to yourself. Until things get bad again and you remember how comforting the cocoon was and try to retreat.

Tortoise Shell : This kind of retreat system can be cumbersome. Unlike the cocoon which takes days to weeks, this kind of system is carried around everywhere and u can be in and out in a blink. At the first sign of things going South, you retreat into the shell. But unlike the cocoon, you are not blind here. So if a life threatening situation arises - you see it coming and may choose to act. Like the cocoon, the shell provides a familiar surrounding, thereby reassuring you. But unlike the cocoon, it also provides robustness. You can retreat and easily deflect all kinds of personal attacks. And still keeping an eye on the proceedings so as soon as u find a way out - you take it. This is the typical escapist approach. Deflect until the attack is over or you get an opportunity to run. However, because all the time goes in carrying the shell around, there's barely any time left for true introspection. You live longer - but you would never emerge out of the shell as a changed person.

Now, this is a topic about retreat systems - so don't get any "Why don't you take things head on" kind of ideas. Personally, shell is my favorite - however I've tried to reduce the time of hibernation in cocoon and have found them to be really effective for personal growth.

That's All Folks!!

Serendipity!?

Not so random thoughts.. Figured I should list it out..

1. I want you to be by my side so we watch the sunset over a beach together.
2. I want you by my side when I'm enjoying a drive with soothing music playing in the car.
3. I want you by my side when I'm just generally wondering looking at the raindrops falling from the sky through the glass top of my car.
4. I want you to listen to all my weird theories and give your comments/opinions - coz seriously, I am stupid and need someone sensible to listen to me and talk some sense into me.
5. I want you to be with me so we can together explore all the restaurants and eateries in every town/city we visit.
6. I want you to be there with me while we travel around the globe exploring all the wonderful things out there.
7. I want you to be the kid with me.. sing with me and dance with me.. in the public or at home. To just be crazy with me..
8. I want you to be my inspiration in life. The driving force so I can be a better person every day.
9. I also want you to be the foundation of my life going forth.
10. And lastly I need you to be the mother of my kids. Coz frankly, I will probably be an awful dad. So they'll need a better role model than me.

I can't promise much in return.. But..

1. I will always be there for you - whenever you need me.
2. If you wanna get drunk and need me to drive you back home - I promise not to drink a drop of alcohol.
3. If you are feeling low and need someone to listen - my ears would always be within reach.
4. If you ever need to cheer up - I'll make sure I have some good jokes handy
5. I will care for you and make sure that I have time for you whenever you need.

All in all, basically, I will be with you - always and forever - like the clichéd saying of in health and sickness and so on. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I will try to make all of it fun and filled with happiness, as much as I can, but will be able to do so only with your support.

So , :), will you marry me?